Sunday, December 16, 2012

All Consuming


...

Since Friday I haven't been mentally intact enough to handle my emotions. Or maybe I've finally given myself over to the raw facts and made myself feel. Even throughout the past few months, each new shock wave slicked away more of my resolve to find fairness by replacing it with unity and love. But now, reasoning with the chaos that we are born into no longer pacifies me. I feel guilty. And I feel alone. And I feel so much that I just do not want to feel. 

Daniel is eight, a mix of fragile limbs and enlightened spirit. I hurt knowing that. After the summer and the fall, I said what is going to happen in December. It has been every two months and the next one is suppose to happen in December. And then it did. But I never thought it would. Am I torturing myself with my need to understand what happened. News articles hurt or heal? I hurt or heal? At the time, I never knew it. How could I not know depression when I lived in depression. But how could I. Now looking back, I see it objectively with a little confusion and a little rationalization of the irrational. But was it irrational. Am I being irrational now. It has brought me back to the reason for starting this blog. I named it eohs for a reason. epitome of a happy soul. It keeps me connected to myself. I read what I wrote, and I can reestablish myself. 



e.o.h.s page

"
e.o.h.s.- epitome of a happy soul.

Sometimes I get annoyed when people tell me that "happy" is too generic of a term. And then sometimes, I totally agree. Come on, there are such things as thesauruses.

But there was a period of time when I could not be defined as happy. So "happy" is important to me.
This blog is a memory log, always reminding me of the things that make me smile.
I love fashion and hunting for looks, so why not celebrate that.
And I love creating, although a bit hesitant to share, but why not celebrate that.


I suppose I'm grappling for a way to make this count for more people than just myself. I thought ads could generate some revenue, but alas, that is not very true. But I need to know that any success in whatever it is that I do will go towards what matters to me. 

A bulky percent of the money earned anywhere goes to the eohSpirit, a tangent to eohs dedicated to donating to the IMHRO [International Mental Health Research Organization]. It's very much a tangent because eohs is about happiness so I won't be promoting eohSpirit for direct donations, if interested, donate to IMHRO.

"  


Right, I am doing this for a reason. So is that why Friday made me see the indiscriminating thrashes of hurt with so much hurt. Am I doing anything at all. I need to spit these words out, but do I even want anyone to hear me. I can't decide. And then I realize that this is the threshold so many of us do not pass. Going unnoticed not for the lack of thoughts but for the lack of words. Is this how he felt? So I need to throw out all my thoughts. Not to crumple them up into a metal pronged waste basket, but into a mecca of optimism because even though I don't feel that now, I need to feel it later. After the intensity settles, I need to be able to pick up with proactive thoughts. I cannot say that I've been thrown into activism for a cause before, not in the way that calls for embedded devotion. But this is how it feels to be so personally entrenched in a need that you can't do anything except be devoted. I've finally felt the plates under my feet move. 

...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

F TO THE LDOC


Our growth from the first day of class to the last day of class.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Frosted Goodness


NOW it is officially 'tis the season of frosted Christmas trees and gingerbread making & smashing!! After two hours of a holiday spree, we decorated the tree and played Qwirkle with Seth and Sampy in a festively lite apartment. It was the perfect night to end a hectically wonderful week.

Somehow seven days stretched out to fit a lot more than I thought seven days could hold. I have been planning DSP banquet and it went beautifully Thursday evening. Taking a non-stress attitude for the night, I decided to enjoy all the hard work put into it instead of running around like a crazy person about the name tags being neon yellow (cause they were. and they looked pretty rad) or whatever else popped up. And lastly, I was given the TJX internship and have officially accepted [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]. I've kept it under wraps a bit and am so so excited to be working there over the summer. Could NOT have found a better fit.

And some metallic tops for this holiday season- I grabbed mine from Avalon Exchange:

scalloped
polka dots
dipped back
cut down sleeve
peplum
front knot
brushed
batwing



YAY!!
  





Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Off We Go

We'll find somewhere, nobody will know.

Elie Tahari coat. [bargain or indulge or replica in black or waitlist]
Michael Kors blazer. [bargain or indulge or replica in black
Taylor dress. [bargain or indulge]
Nine West heels. [bargain or indulge]
Hue tights. [bargain or indulge]

Finds from my hunt:
Marshalls- blazer & dress & heels & tights.
Wrentham Outlet- coat (@ Off Fifth Saks Fifth Avenue Outlet)

...

Lodging in a hotel forty minutes from home, I'm a fit of nerve endings and amazement. When in the world did I get so old. Old enough to stay at a hotel by myself. Old enough for the receptionist to let me stay in a hotel by myself. 

Monday was pretty fortuitous, saving me some extra air time in flights and resulting in this somewhat wonky arrangement of travel plans. Aka my dad drove me away from home last night to a hotel a couple towns over, which makes sense since both my parents work full-time. Okay, enough tip toeing around the subject. I'm super excited slash anxious slash excited because...I have an interview today!! At the number one place I shop. At the place I should call my watering hole. Take a guess? Cause I won't be spoiling the surprise or ruining my bit of superstition, not on the internets at least.

Off I go!   




Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Home Snow

Nick & Mo jacket. [bargain or indulge]
Leifsdottir silk blouse. [bargain or indulge]
Spyder fleece. [bargain or indulge]
Ann Taylor corduroy. [bargain or indulge]...new Black Friday steal!
Nine West boots. [bargain or indulge]
Madewell scarf. [bargain or indulge]

Finds from my hunt:
Wrentham Outlet- fleece & corduroy & boots.
Anthropologie- blouse ($20 for silk. for silk! O_o)

...

Surprise! I'm still at home, although Sam has long and left me aka yesterday. All's good if not more than good, but I'm hesitant to reveal why I'm the lone college home-dweller around these snowy New England hills. BUT, the most important description to extract from that sentence is snowy, as known as it's currently snowing! Getting to experience my first snowfall of the season with the family is a festive little gift, and I'm loving it. Much to do on the school-front, so back to work I gooo. 

Also, had to throw in a Black Friday purchase! Loving on my emerald cords, but I was clueless of how much attention they get from lint. Accessory that I always have on hand now? A lint roller.

Kay, NOW I should go. 






 boo you left- see you on the other side!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Sweet Heart


I may not have left a tornado trial around the house of Pok√©mon and Super Smash Brother chants like we did years ago during the holidays, but this was a Thanksgiving to remember for a new set of reasons. After pulling each other through the grinds, my parents and I have silently bonded in unison and it feels wonderful to look at them both with not only love but also empathy. We are finally starting to "get" one another. Sam spent hours contemplating the industry and international news with my dad as my mom and I giggled at the sight of them. Our neighbors came over for a night of food babies and homemade dumplings. We ended the night with the six of us gathered around the table slapping down cards, playing some wonkily difficult twist on the already confusing game of poker. Happy Thanksgiving. 

Off to some sweet sleeps.




{hard at work on nanowrimo}

Monday, November 19, 2012

Oozing Glowy Love


Spent the weekend delirious and happy. I boogied and Bernied. I ate miniaturly nuked buffalo wings. And I rocked a pimp hat. All with the people who are my people.




Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Glitz Blitz on the Loop


Took a weekend trip to the Loop right next to campus for some afternoon shopping! Getting away from work and meetings was beyond refreshing as we scoured Pitaya and Avalon Exchange for a few hours. I personally didn't buy anything [realization: I am not a suga momma], but everyone snagged some great finds including ultimate ugly holiday sweaters. Plus, it makes me happy just to be with people.

Although I'm a huge advocate for grabbing an Ugly Holiday Sweater from thrift stores and goodwill, here are some wonky holiday sweaters from traditional retailers (organized from $-$$$):



Happy Happy Hump Day!
~as Mr. DeBoer would say, back in my Hollister-obsessed days~ 


Saturday, November 10, 2012

Blinding Emerald Sunlight

 {brandless} fur coat. [bargain or indulge]
Cynthia Steffe blouse. [bargain or indulge]
Jolt printed jeans. [bargain or indulge]
White Mountain boots. [bargain or indulge]

Finds from my hunt:
Marshalls- coat & blouse & jeans.
Mom's closet- boots.

...

Saying no to the off-feeling past couple of weeks. Screw feeling meh and blagh. Had a reunion with our Diwali hip hop group from a year ago last night and it felt like more than a stroke of luck that all of us were brought together for it. Love every single one of them. It's oddly seventyfour (!!) degrees out today, and the perfect day to refresh. Heading to noon Diwali performance and then thrifting around with some girls. It's Alexandra's birthday
SOHAPPYBIRTHDAYYOUARETHEGREATEST,ZANDERS.

After being sickly (ick) for a week, I'm going to take my first jog of November! Putting importance on every little thing today :)



Sunday, October 21, 2012

Chicks Dig Bubble Tea

{thrifted} fur coat. [bargain or indulge]
Madewell scarf. [bargain or indulge]
White Mountain boots. [bargain or indulge]
Nike spandex. [bargain or indulge]

-thanksthanksthanks a million bijillion thanks to gwen for the surprise fur coat-

Finds from my hunt:
Mom's closet- boots.
Marshalls- spandex.

...

Fall break (day) was so wonderfully well spent. A bunch of us went to go see Cabaret Thursday night, which absolutely blew me away [wootwoot Louisa & Adam!!]. Friday began with yoga and the Julie-Diana's girl date to the Loop even after I convinced her it was the dead of winter out although it was in the fifties. Heh. In between our bubble tea sandwich, we went to see Perks of Being a Wallflower and Julie sobbed like I had sobbed the first time I watched it. It's a  rare occurrence for a movie to draw out such potent emotions and resonant so closely with the audience so I'd be glad to go catch it a third time. We were getting the 90's vibe afterwards and went ham at Avalon Exchange and bought some truly vibrant and shoulder-pad endorsing pieces. At night, Sam and I stopped at a Halloween special glass blowing demo at the 3rd Degree Glass Factory. The whole day was a gem and just set up the rest of the weekend for genuine bonding time.

{rawr}
{merp}



Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Lounge Fest


Been living in this outfit. No shame. 

L.L. Bean sweatshirt. [bargain or indulge]
Forever 21 tee. [bargain or indulge or luxe]
Gap shorts. [bargain or indulge]
{brandless} fuzzy socks. [bargain or indulge]

Finds from my hunt:
Boyfriend's closet slash he stole from his mom- sweatshirt.
Great Mall Outlet- shorts.

...

Finding refuge between midterm studying and vigorously painting has thankfully given me short bursts of calm and serenity. Looking forward to just being with friends and everyone I love.