J-Chilling With My Pug, Belle

[courtesy of the bros]

It's been Towelfight 2 vs. Midterms since Butterscotch Shenanigans released their first full-fledged, pimped out mobile game yesterday. It's a teeny tiny bit odd since I've been watching Sam work on it for the past few months with Seth (via gchat, of course) and now it's the real thing with Hardik's face splashed all over the App Store!! With big names in the gaming world not only talking about it, but raving about it. WAHHHHHHHT WHOA. 

And now to my Market Research notes. 

Envy Twines

HAPPY INITIATION WEEKEND, KENZIE!!!

I got my sorority juices flowing this weekend and got to wear a wreath!! WHY are they no longer in fashion? Oh but wait, they are. I'll be making a flower wreath for my next DIY project. Um, YES. 

And wow, a photo of me wearing stuffs. I haven't exactly been focusing on style and fashion and textiles and design and bargain hunting as of late, transforming this blog into more of a collection of my sporadic thoughts.  I do feel a bit scattered in actually most of my pursuits, but maybe it's a good to not have things set in stone. Scattered could also mean freed to think and do without limitations. But I am looking to add some more fulfillment into my life somehow someway. 

Heading to the Fox Theater [unreal. un-real.] to see The Book of Mormon with Sam's family brought me into the broader and grander real post-college world, but my not so grand exam score brought me back to the reality of today. Even before this weekend, I've been trying to figure out the value in everything that I do. I'm in a limbo of sorts, envying people who have such direct and true passions. I guess I'm kind of back at square one again. Eh, not a horrible place to be. 

Undercover Big, Undercover Rash

Cheers to this mish-mosh post!! I've been infested by a rash, explained to me as pityriasis rosea [at least the second word is cutesy?]. aka my body is rejecting me. It's been taking over my skin since last Saturday, the last time I posted. That top picture is a visual of my attempts to dress this week. Hidden. Clothed. Beyond modest? 

Anyways, IT'S BIGLITTLE WEEK!!!!!!!! I've been showering the nugget with crafted gifts but I can't reveal too much except that I feel so lucky. We clicked on a deeper level much quicker than I thought I would be able to with someone within just a couple of weeks. It's funny because this is the one year anniversary of mine and Gwen's love affair, and I feel special to get to have them both. I got the chance to skype with her for a little today and it made me so happy. Seeing her happy makes it for me. Actually continuously surprised by how I was able to find people who are my "people" here. 

Must do more work. While refraining myself from scratching. 

Twitch.

To Play

Friday night was breathtakingly magical. To the point that I actually had my mouth hang open multiple multiple times. On our way out earlier in the night, fireworks began exploding in the sky. For a hot second, I was a bit freaked out. They were big, the in-your-face kind of big. We noticed that they were coming from Mudd Field and ran. Shooting from the ground were sizzling colors and light. Chinese New Years lit up the sky.

And on our way home, fat, fluffy, sticky flakes that looked like pulled-apart cotton balls were falling. I walked home blissful and stood astonished when I approached the Swamp. Snowmen were already built and the roar of a hundred laughs accompanied the throws of a hundred snowballs. It was the first time I felt like a kid in college. The blinding feeling where cold cannot be felt and screams follow laughter and laughter follows screams. 

Best night.

1.2..3...

I have been actively avoiding the blog. Actively. PROactively. Because all I wanted to do since seven days ago is flubber about my industrial piercing. And all I could think about was how my mom would know of my doings through a blog post. And that, would be not so ideal. I Facetimed with her the week before I did it and told her I wanted to get another piercing. She thought I just meant a simple second hole and was vehemently against it. Not the aggressive type of vehemently since she's more liberal than people give her credit, but simply that it would not be a good idea. For my pain threshold. For the aftercare nuisance. For my future employers. [ >_< to the last comment ] I told her I was actually looking to get two holes in my cartilage. Heh. Pretttty sure she thought I was playing around with some wishful thinking but little did she know... 

On 1/23 in the year 2013, I got my industrial!! Went to Self Inflicted Studios downtown and sweated out 3 pounds before they 3-hole punched my ear. Gwen has one too and basically exposed me to this phenomenon  I miss her and she's in Brasil, but I thought of her a lot during this whole thing. And VAVABOOM I gots one! 

I Facetimed my mom again today and impulsively wanted to show her. Mom's reaction?
"Hahahah, you're silly." 

[before: my hands were shaking with sweat.]

I DID IT.

Yellow Daydreams

Had a beautifully delicious and captivating moment today while I was sprawled out on my back in College Hall. The yellow wood and sunshine made the air particles hit by light sparkle and dance right above me. We were taking a ten minute break from our Event Assistant training, and Adam played a tune through the speakers. The sound of strings to a western wailed in a surprisingly delightful way throughout the space. I was brought back to sweet memories from the past that had been somehow tucked away. Memories from when I was about ten and spent most of my days outside. And my first days of experiencing romance in its purest and most unrelenting form with no other considerations to think about. To a specific memory that shocked me with my own drama and sweet desperation.

...

On the morning that we were driving away from New Jersey up to Massachusetts, my mom made a stop for me two miles away from the home we were leaving. Drenched in tears, I entered a full classroom of my friends and hugged them all in their shock. I made my way to the desk and placed a poster size card of imissyous into its open-face drawer. The boy I was saying good bye to had stayed home for the morning after our last performance. We were both the leads in our fifth grade musical. And less than twelve hours after standing on stage together, I was on my way up north to a whole new place. 

...

Not-real-life-real-life moment. 

Thanks Danse Caribe for such an innocent and loving five minutes today.         

4evr a Kid

Disney is my jam, actually//literally/for realz. It was beyond nostalgic and sweet exploring the parks with Dan since he had never been to Disney World. I was his age when we first went down to Florida, which I cannot BELIEVE because I am pretty sure I had coherent and mature thoughts..which means my little brother is having thoughts on that level too? Or I am just egotistical about my eight year old self? Regardless, it was a magical experience with him. We ran head first into Magic Kingdom's Tomorrowland, so much so that Dan actually tripped and face planted on the ground. But I hoisted him up so we could pass the threshold together. I miss that nugget.

It's been an apt day to daydream about Disney since this first week of classes already requires me to use whentowork for figuring out friend dates. Not really, but I should. o_O 

Birthdays Will Always Be Awesome

To a Happy New Year!!

Spent the past few weeks soaking in the love of the people who I love and didn't bother wrestling with molasses level wifi so there's much to show and chat about! Sam's twenty-third birthday was right before I left for Disney so I planned a balloon fiesta and surprise Skype party with his family. The 23 balloons carried notes of a narrative I crafted with some relevant gifts attached. The pieces of paper bound into a 23 page booklet as the final present. The sight was beautifully cheerful. :)    

All Consuming

...

Since Friday I haven't been mentally intact enough to handle my emotions. Or maybe I've finally given myself over to the raw facts and made myself feel. Even throughout the past few months, each new shock wave slicked away more of my resolve to find fairness by replacing it with unity and love. But now, reasoning with the chaos that we are born into no longer pacifies me. I feel guilty. And I feel alone. And I feel so much that I just do not want to feel. 

Daniel is eight, a mix of fragile limbs and enlightened spirit. I hurt knowing that. After the summer and the fall, I said what is going to happen in December. It has been every two months and the next one is suppose to happen in December. And then it did. But I never thought it would. Am I torturing myself with my need to understand what happened. News articles hurt or heal? I hurt or heal? At the time, I never knew it. How could I not know depression when I lived in depression. But how could I. Now looking back, I see it objectively with a little confusion and a little rationalization of the irrational. But was it irrational. Am I being irrational now. It has brought me back to the reason for starting this blog. I named it eohs for a reason. epitome of a happy soul. It keeps me connected to myself. I read what I wrote, and I can reestablish myself. 

e.o.h.s page

"

e.o.h.s.- epitome of a happy soul.

Sometimes I get annoyed when people tell me that "happy" is too generic of a term. And then sometimes, I totally agree. Come on, there are such things as thesauruses.

But there was a period of time when I could not be defined as happy. So "happy" is important to me.

This blog is a memory log, always reminding me of the things that make me smile.

I love fashion and hunting for looks, so why not celebrate that.

And I love creating, although a bit hesitant to share, but why not celebrate that.

I suppose I'm grappling for a way to make this count for more people than just myself. I thought ads could generate some revenue, but alas, that is not very true. But I need to know that any success in whatever it is that I do will go towards what matters to me. 

A bulky percent of the money earned anywhere goes to the eohSpirit, a tangent to eohs dedicated to donating to the IMHRO [International Mental Health Research Organization]. It's very much a tangent because eohs is about happiness so I won't be promoting eohSpirit for direct donations, if interested, donate to IMHRO.

"  

Right, I am doing this for a reason. So is that why Friday made me see the indiscriminating thrashes of hurt with so much hurt. Am I doing anything at all. I need to spit these words out, but do I even want anyone to hear me. I can't decide. And then I realize that this is the threshold so many of us do not pass. Going unnoticed not for the lack of thoughts but for the lack of words. Is this how he felt? So I need to throw out all my thoughts. Not to crumple them up into a metal pronged waste basket, but into a mecca of optimism because even though I don't feel that now, I need to feel it later. After the intensity settles, I need to be able to pick up with proactive thoughts. I cannot say that I've been thrown into activism for a cause before, not in the way that calls for embedded devotion. But this is how it feels to be so personally entrenched in a need that you can't do anything except be devoted. I've finally felt the plates under my feet move. 

...

F TO THE LDOC

Our growth from the first day of class to the last day of class.

Frosted Goodness

NOW it is officially 'tis the season of frosted Christmas trees and gingerbread making & smashing!! After two hours of a holiday spree, we decorated the tree and played Qwirkle with Seth and Sampy in a festively lite apartment. It was the perfect night to end a hectically wonderful week.

Somehow seven days stretched out to fit a lot more than I thought seven days could hold. I have been planning DSP banquet and it went beautifully Thursday evening. Taking a non-stress attitude for the night, I decided to enjoy all the hard work put into it instead of running around like a crazy person about the name tags being neon yellow (cause they were. and they looked pretty rad) or whatever else popped up. And lastly, I was given the TJX internship and have officially accepted [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]. I've kept it under wraps a bit and am so so excited to be working there over the summer. Could NOT have found a better fit.

And some metallic tops for this holiday season- I grabbed mine from Avalon Exchange:

scalloped
polka dots
dipped back
cut down sleeve
peplum
front knot
brushed
batwing

YAY!!

  

Off We Go

We'll find somewhere, nobody will know.

Elie Tahari coat. [bargain or indulge or replica in black or waitlist]

Michael Kors blazer. [bargain or indulge or replica in black] 

Taylor dress. [bargain or indulge]

Nine West heels. [bargain or indulge]

Hue tights. [bargain or indulge]

Finds from my hunt:

Marshalls- blazer & dress & heels & tights.

Wrentham Outlet- coat (@ Off Fifth Saks Fifth Avenue Outlet)

...

Lodging in a hotel forty minutes from home, I'm a fit of nerve endings and amazement. When in the world did I get so old. Old enough to stay at a hotel by myself. Old enough for the receptionist to let me stay in a hotel by myself. 

Monday was pretty fortuitous, saving me some extra air time in flights and resulting in this somewhat wonky arrangement of travel plans. Aka my dad drove me away from home last night to a hotel a couple towns over, which makes sense since both my parents work full-time. Okay, enough tip toeing around the subject. I'm super excited slash anxious slash excited because...I have an interview today!! At the number one place I shop. At the place I should call my watering hole. Take a guess? Cause I won't be spoiling the surprise or ruining my bit of superstition, not on the internets at least.

Off I go!   

Home Snow

Nick & Mo jacket. [bargain or indulge]

Leifsdottir silk blouse. [bargain or indulge]

Spyder fleece. [bargain or indulge]

Ann Taylor corduroy. [bargain or indulge]...new Black Friday steal!

Nine West boots. [bargain or indulge]

Madewell scarf. [bargain or indulge]

Finds from my hunt:

Wrentham Outlet- fleece & corduroy & boots.

Anthropologie- blouse ($20 for silk. for silk! O_o)

...

Surprise! I'm still at home, although Sam has long and left me aka yesterday. All's good if not more than good, but I'm hesitant to reveal why I'm the lone college home-dweller around these snowy New England hills. BUT, the most important description to extract from that sentence is snowy, as known as it's currently snowing! Getting to experience my first snowfall of the season with the family is a festive little gift, and I'm loving it. Much to do on the school-front, so back to work I gooo. 

Also, had to throw in a Black Friday purchase! Loving on my emerald cords, but I was clueless of how much attention they get from lint. Accessory that I always have on hand now? A lint roller.

Kay, NOW I should go. 

 boo you left- see you on the other side!

Sweet Heart

I may not have left a tornado trial around the house of Pokémon and Super Smash Brother chants like we did years ago during the holidays, but this was a Thanksgiving to remember for a new set of reasons. After pulling each other through the grinds, my parents and I have silently bonded in unison and it feels wonderful to look at them both with not only love but also empathy. We are finally starting to "get" one another. Sam spent hours contemplating the industry and international news with my dad as my mom and I giggled at the sight of them. Our neighbors came over for a night of food babies and homemade dumplings. We ended the night with the six of us gathered around the table slapping down cards, playing some wonkily difficult twist on the already confusing game of poker. Happy Thanksgiving. 

Off to some sweet sleeps.

lullaby

{hard at work on nanowrimo}

Oozing Glowy Love

Spent the weekend delirious and happy. I boogied and Bernied. I ate miniaturly nuked buffalo wings. And I rocked a pimp hat. All with the people who are my people.